Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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