I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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