therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
only if we run a train.
done.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
