After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
