We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
