If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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