tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
