I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize