I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
