I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
