How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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