Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
