Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
