I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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