That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
