i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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