The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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