hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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