go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I didn't notice because vodka
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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