If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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