So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
