whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
