I'd wear matching sweaters with you
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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