i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
