Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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