Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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