Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
