That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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