he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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