You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When did angry sex become our thing?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
