First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh god it's open bar.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
