I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
