i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
