I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
