does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Pooping to opera.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
