OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
