I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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