What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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