So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
