I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
420 ftw
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize