yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
