The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
