i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I believe in your delicious
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
