brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
