i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think your dad took our porno
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
