dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How's work?
Spinning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
