I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
