I cockslap morals
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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