How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i will never coherently bang her
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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