just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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