umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
