IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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