I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
