possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize