I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
