She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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