dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
