Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
