you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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