areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
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Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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