are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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