How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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