i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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