Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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